Life Storied : The Things They Come Up With

Gotta love the pose and the outfit--both Evelyn originals!

Jesse and Evelyn are whirling dervishes: busy, busy, busy with all kinds of projects and activities and explorations. What's so funny and so wonderful about watching a two-year old--or two two-year olds--go about their lives is just getting to witness the things they come up with. They are so distinctively and utterly original. Jess and Evelyns' projects are (at this stage) almost wholly unconstrained by any expectations, any preconceptions about what's an interesting thing to do, what makes sense, or what's even possible.

It's this very thing that also makes this stage of life frustrating for them (and for us as their parents). An important part of development for a two-year old is simply the discovery of the world's constraints--the boundaries on their seemingly unbounded desire. They are discovering what's not possible (Mom can't turn the stars "off", Evelyn), what's not reasonable (we don't "open" ipods, Jess, and no tantrum can change that fact), what's not acceptable (you can't dip all of your food in your milk; you can't bite your brother whenever he irritates you), what is simply going to remain out of reach (e.g., the mouse and keyboard for the time being). When you think of it that way, you can begin to appreciate why two-year old children are famous for tantrums and fits--so much of their development at this stage involves discovery of what's not to be. And that's hard for all of us.

But it's also this very thing--the way in which their interests, ideas, projects are unconstrained by expectation, reason, convention, peers, etc.--that makes this stage of life with them so neat. The lack of boundaries on their ideas and desires allows for a level of originality and creativity in all of their undertakings. The things they come up with! It is alternately endearing, maddening, entertaining, surprising, and just plain funny to watch them as they go about their various activities.

Just this week, for example, they've begun (with no prompting for us) to pass the peace around the house. (You know, like one does at church, at that point in the service where we greet our fell0w parishioners. In the Episcopal church (as in many others) we do this by shaking hands or hugging and saying "peace".) During a diaper change, or over dinner, or even when I'm getting reading to leave, Jess or Evelyn (or both) will extend a hand and say "peace, mama." What's even more funny is that they continually offer peace to the dogs. Evelyn frequently will approach one or other of the dogs with hand extended and say "Peace, Tess" "Peace, Abby" and wait for a paw to come her way. It'll be sad, I think, the day she realize the dogs are not going to reciprocate and gives up on the project. There's something so sweet and open about the expectation of this kind of interaction with our dogs.

I thought the following two videos captured the kind of activity I'm talking about. In the first, they are wrapping little wooden balls in mail and singing them to sleep. In the other they are entertaining themselves with wet rags and couch pillows (in the middle of the kitchen floor). Who'd come up with such a project?